Breck Bednar's mom urges gamers to "play virtual, live true"
12 January 2015
The mother of a 14-year old boy from Surrey who was killed by a teenage boy who he met online through gaming says she hopes that the story of her son's victim will lead to better security on the internet for all.
Breck Bednar was killed by Lewis Daynes after the 19-year-old took him to his home at Grays in Essex.
Lorin LaFave said: "I want Breck's story to show that there is a lot of evil out there. Not everyone.
"But it takes only one person who is evil to cause this kind of harm."
Lewis Daynes admitted murder and has been sentenced to life imprisonment.
Lorin from Caterham, says that Breck and his companions would often have evenings of playing war games on a server created by Daynes.
"When I would enter his room or walk by and listen I could hear how interesting it was and I could see why they were socialising this way."
She began to be concerned that Daynes was exerting a greater influence on her son, and that his personality was changing.
"Breck was telling me that Daynes didn't think that he had to get off the computer. Daynes didn't believe that he had to do chores. Daynes didn't think he should have to do activities with the family."
Lorin took away her son's computer and she reported her concerns to police.
'Manipulative behaviour'
"I told them about Daynes manipulative behaviour and I also said that I believed he was grooming Breck. I told them, 'I'm sure there's something wrong because he's changing Breck's behaviour and ideologies.'"
She didn't know that the older teenager had sent Breck an mobile phone to ensure they were in contact.
She claims he would inform Breck about lucrative business opportunities and promise in one email that they would collaborate and earn millions of dollars.
Lorin believes that the boys were enthralled by the fake online persona Daynes had created for himself.
WOW SERVERS
Breck believed it for some reason. He wanted to be with someone who had this influence and wealth, as well as expertise. I believe he was an mentor, unfortunately. They were watching him."
Daynes informed Breck that they must meet face-to-face to discuss business. Daynes booked a taxi to take Breck to his home. There, Breck was murdered.
The Bednar family has created The Breck Bednar Memorial Foundation to try to promote responsible use of technology.
Their slogan is Play Virtual Live Real.
"The internet is a great tool however, you cannot play games with your friends on the internet. Live life in the real world. Only get together with people that you have met in person. Breck did not live a real life. Because he believed in lies of an evil person, his real life was death."
She is aware of the message that young people are exposed to regularly - Breck took an online safety course just a month before the murder, but she wants to ensure that they don't miss it.
"If Breck were here he would have said, 'Guys, I don't believe it either, but there are dangerous people out there'. Unfortunately it took the toll of his life."
'Imagine the message is coming from Breck'
She would like young people to think of Breck as the source of their security message.
"What did he say to himself when he was being assaulted by Daynes? Did him think, "Wow, mom was right?" Did he think, "Man, I've really messed up Did he think, 'Man, I've really messed up!' What was going through his head? Because at that point it was too late."
Ms. LaFave wants the government to increase its investment in this area so that every parent can feel secure that an investigation will be conducted if they submit online concerns.
Daynes was scheduled to stand trial for murder, but he pleaded guilty at the last moment. He'll be sentenced to a minimum of 25 years.
The Independent Police Complaints Commission has been referred to the case by the Essex and Surrey Police.
They will attempt to determine if a force could have done something differently.
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